Sunday, March 8, 2009

Apronistas, Helpmeets, Nurturers & FLYLadies

I wanted to share this letter I wrote to a fellow blogger. There is a lot of good information in it about marriage and homemaking and the influence of women and more.

Hi Stacy,

I wanted to leave a comment on your blog but when I click on the "leave comment", nothing happens.

I love the name of your blog "A Helpmeet for Him" because you are among the few of us who know the power and influence of a woman and CHOOSE to support and help our husbands, and don't consider ourselves less than a man in any way. I have run across a lot of ladies like this in the blogging world. Most of us are SAHMs (stay at home moms), homemakers, and love it. That is not always possible because of the crazy economy, so there are some working moms in there too. There is a new name for us. "Apronistas".

I think I read that you have fibromyalgia. Is that right or did I mix you up with someone else? I have it too, along with lupus and several other severely painful conditions. Fibromyalgia seems to have become an epidemic!

I have 3 blogs, and one is dedicated to being an old fashioned wife and mother and homemaker. (You can click on my profile there and see the other 2 blogs that I have.)
On that blog I list many other blogs of Apronistas. They love aprons, the symbol of the wife who takes her homemaking, mothering and wifely duties seriously.

I just got 2 WONDERFUL books that you might want to mention on your blog. They are by the same author. They are Christian books. The first one is called "Sacred Influence" by Gary Thomas.The sub title says "How God Uses Wives to shape the souls of their husbands." It seems that the last few generations have forgotten how much power and influence we have as women, and why men need our help. We really are stronger than men in emotional sense, and can do multi-tasking, and nurturing, and have spiritual insight that most men don't have. When we stay close to the Lord, we are given guidance for all those that we are responsible for. The mother and wife is the center of all society. We create the personalities of our children and husbands to a certain extent. Of course there will always be exceptions to every rule.

Gary Thomas also wrote a companion book to the one I just mentioned, called "Sacred Marriage" subtitle: What if Marriage was meant to make us Holy more than to make us happy? Since the 60s, people have forgotten WHY to stay together even if things get hard, and that we should try to fix things, not just throw them away. There is an old saying from the depression "Use it up, fix it up, make it do or do without."

I think this financial crisis might teach people many valuable qualities that were learned in that depression, and instead of just throwing away things that are not perfect, including relationships, we will fix things and keep them longer. I think I am going to post this letter to my blog so others can get this message as well.

These past few generations were not taught much of anything at home because either they lived in a single parent household, so the parent had to work so many hours that they didn't have time to teach living skills to the children, or there are also families who just spoiled their children by giving them video games and all sorts of electronic gadgets to fill their time instead of using their time to learn how to be independent and self sufficient when they leave home. Thank goodness for programs such as FLYladies, who teach people how to run a household. They have all different levels and categories, like beginners, or working moms, or chronically ill homemakers, or advanced skill homemakers. the FLY in FLYladies stands for Finally Loving Yourself, and it guides you step by step each day through emails to help you keep your life organized and teach you how to care for your home. There are millions of members world wide, with online support groups through the yahoo support groups for just about any group of people with a similar interest. You can start out as a FLYbaby, and take baby steps to learn how to run a household, and work up from there. Since I am so limited by pain, I stayed in flybabies. Their trick is that you do the assignments only 5 minutes at a time. I was absolutely SHOCKED to find out how much I could get done in a day by working only 5 minutes at a time, every half hour.

I have a theory about Adam & Eve's creation. It goes like this. God created man, and was very pleased. He thought "Look at what I have created. His mind is able to concentrate so well on one task at a time that he can create homes, cities, whole civilizations. He can solve problems and create inventions and cures and organizations. He can go through war and hardship and bounce back and carry on because he is concentrating only on what is happening at that very moment, not how it will affect everyone else or how it will affect his future. He won't get distracted easily. I have really created a powerful creature this time. One who can be master over his whole world." Then He thought for a moment...."Uh oh....he is going to need someone to take care of all the other details that will need handling while he is thinking of that one thing at a time!" Therefore, he created the multi-tasking woman, the partner, the helpmeet, the nurturer, the one who loves organization and order, the one who has emotions and not just analytical thoughts.

Men work mostly from the right side of their brain, which handles logic and facts. Women work from both sides of their brain. The left side of the brain handles the creative, artistic, emotional, spiritual reasoning ideas.

Then I noticed a scripture that stood out. It said "It is not good for man to be alone." I have known men who have spent their lifetime alone, and they have not fully developed. They are like bears in apartments. hahaha. It's like if they did not find "their other half", they only half way developed the thoughts and skills needed to live fully. Women do better on their own than men.

Men and women have different talents, and together, they make a great team. One book that saved my marriage a couple of times was the first book of the series "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It tells how men and women think differently, and it's really fascinating. After reading that book, I thought "We are so very different, its amazing that we can even live on the same planet together, much less in the same house!" It even has a "decoding" section. It states some comments that a husband or wife might say, and tells what the wife thinks when she hears that comment, and what the husband thinks when he hears that comment, and it's completely opposite. It teaches you how to talk his language and how to get through to him.

Another similar and more up-to-date book I bought and hope to read ASAP is called "Love & Respect. The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately needs." It's by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and is also a Christian book.

I think life goes in cycles, and society has gotten so far away from family values and honorable character traits that society is falling apart, so people are more and more turning to the old fashioned stable ways of creating and raising a family. There are more and more books on the subject, and even an award winning Christian movie that was shown nation-wide in secular theaters, and was accepted so well, that the producers now see that people DO want more decent movies, and they plan on making more. The movie I speak of is called "Fireproof". Its about a firefighter having marriage problems, and how he and his wife finally learn how to make their marriage "fireproof" and strong enough to withstand any danger that might threaten it. It came out on video just 2 weeks ago.

I'm sorry to make this so long. I am just so happy when I meet someone else who chooses to have a biblical marriage, and who understands her influence as a woman. I hope we can get to know each other through our blogs or by emailing, and I will be adding your blog to my list of blogs for others to check out.


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